According to Capital One’s Annual Back-to-School Shopping Survey, “Half (53 percent) of teens polled say they want to learn more about how to manage their money. More teens say they would prefer to learn about money from their parents over friends, reading a book or taking a personal finance class….” This year’s Capital One survey also reveals that 27% of parents have not had any conversations with their children about back to school shopping.
Even if we are not talking to our children about money our children are watching us. They see how we conduct our finances. They form conclusions about why a particular purchase is made and why another purchase is not made. If there is tension in the household about finances, they know there is tension. Their imaginations lead them to conclusions—often including an important role for the child—even when they have limited observations.
Talking about money can help your child form a more balanced and healthy relationship with money. Talking about money can help you uncover some of the conclusions your children have drawn that are incorrect. Talking about money can help parents identify ways they are providing flawed models and help the child learn more appropriate lessons.
In The Financially Intelligent Parent, Jon and Eileen Gallo identify four reasons parents do not talk to their children about money:
- You didn’t learn about money when you were growing up
- You perceived money as something to be feared when you were a child
- You are currently experiencing money difficulties
- You think there is plenty of time to talk to them about money “later.”
Of course, how you talk to your child about money is different when the child is four, fourteen and twenty-four. Fostering discussions during teachable moments does not require you to scare your children when you are in the middle of a financial crisis or require you to disclose every aspect of your finances. The Gallos concluded that “money has never harmed a child: What does the damage is money without values!”
Children need to learn how to balance a checkbook and they also need to value keeping a positive balance. Children need to learn how to select the best savings account or investment and they also need to value the independence that comes from spending less than you earn. Children need to learn how to compare credit cards and they also need to value the responsibility that is demonstrated by paying your bills on time.
Children will learn from your behavior whether you are happy with your behavior or not. Having a conversation with your children can help them understand which behaviors you are proud to demonstrate and which, if any, you would rather not demonstrate. What are the values you strive to demonstrate and instill in your child even if you are not a perfect example of the values?
An easy way to get started with these financial discussions is to take the pledge for National Money Night Talk. National Money Night Talk was started by Jean Chatzky, an award-winning journalist and financial expert, and American Express. September 16, 2010, is the first Money Night Talk. You can take the pledge and get some tips to start the discussion at the National Money Night Talk website: http://moneynighttalk.com/.
As it says on the website, the talk does not have to be elaborate or long. Think about two or three questions (some ideas are included in the tips) to start the conversation and see where the discussion goes. Spending ten or fifteen minutes is a good start.
I have taken the pledge. Will you join me?
John Comer, CFP®
Consultant
Comer Consulting, LLC
Plymouth, MN





Karin Maloney Stifler, CFP®







Robert Schmansky, CFP®